The 'beautification' of Delhi

Delhi is, quite literally, falling down around me. It’s currently in the middle of a “beautification process madam”, which means most roads are demolition sites and contain ten times more dirt and rubble than normal - and that’s quite a lot of dirt and rubble for these gladiator sandals to navigate.

The demolitions mostly consist of some men with hammers knocking down houses while hanging from wooden ladders - all safely cordoned off though, of course, with five or six orange traffic cones.

Strangely the traffic cones don’t do much to protect passing heads from falling debris, as the unfortunate man walking in front of me found out yesterday.

After that close call I thought I would save my head (and my feet) and hailed a cycle rickshaw for a relaxing jaunt around the old city, making sure the carriage had a decently constructed roof.

I thought it might be a good chance to take some pictures. It wasn‘t. I spent the best part of an hour juddering along pot-holed roads, praying my teeth didn’t fall out and barely even got my camera out.

I also thought Syria had sharpened my haggling skills - mistaken once again.

“You now pay 200 rupee madam, this is 10km journey madam and there is big traffic,” he shouted back to me while navigating a surely death-ridden crossroad.

“No, it’s not, it’s 2km and we agreed 50 rupees when I got in,” I screamed, while clinging on to the sides for dear life.


Him: “Ah but madam this is loooonng journey, auto-rickshaw you pay 400 rupees.”

Me: “An air-conditioned taxi from the airport is only 310 rupees and that is 20km, why are you lying to me?”

Where upon he would laugh and wobble his head in that inimitable Indian way, which as far as I’m aware can mean yes, no, I don’t know or anything in between. And then round we would go again.

On the way back to my hotel the conversation took another twist:

“You wan’ hotel madam, I know good hotel, only 500 rupees madam.”

Me: “I have a hotel, you saw me walk out of the door and met me outside, have you forgotten? I don’t need a hotel. Thanks."

Him: “Ah but this good hotel madam, good price. I take you there?”

Me: “I have a hotel already. I don’t need a hotel.”

A few minutes later: “Here is hotel madam, you look?”

AAAAAAAh *POP*